Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Mopey Life Update

Oh party people, how I have neglected updating you on the lives of the Belecs. I admit, the infrequency is exacerbated by my disdain for online journaling of the let's-document-my-every-move variety. You don't need to know every detail of our daily lives, and you don't want to know. This blog started as an issue-based medium to show off our thwarting of the wedding industry and to justify to our traditional families why we eschewed certain sexist or just plain ridiculous wedding practices. But now that the wedding is over, we've stepped off the soap box and we're clearly unsure of what we want this space to be.

We'll figure it out. But until then, I guess we'll write occasional updates so you know generally where we're headed in life, career and love. On second thought, life and career are up in the air, but at least we've got love figured out, and I'm thankful for that.

Seeing that my last update was before I ran the Marine Corps Marathon, I'm happy to report that I successfully finished, and I'm tentatively planning on running MCM again this year. Check out my finisher's page or see some photos my adoring fans took.

After MCM, I had a jam-packed few months of studying for the GRE, taking the GRE, taking an honors women's studies class, completing grad school applications, going on a business trip, finishing up the winter issue of Trout, planning a surprise visit to Arizona and travelling after Christmas. After all that, I was happy to sit back and wait for news from grad schools to tell us what my academic future held.

But alas, my droogs, the rejections have been rolling in. It's hard not to be pessimistic about the four schools I haven't heard from, because two were big stretches anyway (New York University and the University of California-Los Angeles). The rejection from the local University of Maryland--what I considered my safety school--was an especially crushing blow. My only hopes now, however vague, are George Washington and the University of Texas-Austin. For now, I'm working under the assumption that those, too, will be rejections, and I'm marking my calendar for next year's round of applications. I've been in a sizable funk because of this unexpected academic setback, but like a professor reminded me last week, even Jean-Paul Sartre failed his philosophy exam the first time he took it.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm having trouble pulling myself out of mope-ville. This really sucks. But when I find myself here, again, in the doldrums, I just start to feel guilty about what yuppie problems I have. That's right, I'm healthy, employed and married to a wonderful partner, and I'm edging toward depression because I might not be able to break into academia. I admit it.

But there is some hope, my droogs. If I don't have any options but to stay in DC and work, that's what I'll do. Eric and I will move to an apartment that isn't so craptacular and we'll probably get a dog. I'll re-apply to grad programs next fall and keep taking classes at my local community college, where I received a small women's studies scholarship to do so. I'll take Spanish immersion classes to fulfill my longtime goal of learning another language. (No, mom, Latin doesn't count. Sorry.)

Aside from having to deal with my drama, Eric is doing very well. He's on a new fitness kick and plans to ride a full century this year (hopefully with me in tow). He biked a metric century with his dad last summer. He's also really digging his new band, Dimestore, and I have to say they could really go places. If we ended up leaving DC--like I said, a diminishing possibility at this point--I'd be sad that he had to leave the band. They play locally and often, and their sound is much more Eric's and my style than his previous bands were. They're worth checking out.

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